


Every second the world ends for another person

by FuckingJensen



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alcohol, F/M, Grief, Smutt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-26
Updated: 2016-07-26
Packaged: 2018-07-26 21:52:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7591738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FuckingJensen/pseuds/FuckingJensen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reader gets particularly depressed and filled with self-loathing when she couldn't save someone she knew in the past. The winchesters try and help her get out of her funk but are they in over their heads?  <br/>Will the reader snap out of it when the Winchester boys are in trouble or will she think she will never succeed?!?!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Every second the world ends for another person

You stand absolutely still, your eyes overfilling with tears and you blink rapidly to keep them back. It's no use. Steams flow down your cheeks. Time stood still as you stand in front of a vamp who's head slides off its shoulders splattering blood on you. Dean pulled his blade back and looks over at your crumpled face. 

It's not the vampires death your mourning, it's the small blonde girl laying next to the headless body. You crash to your knees as your hands hover over her. Wanting to touch her and feel a pulse, but you know you will only feel cold lifeless flesh. You squeeze your eyes shut so hard. Willing the image of the young girls blank stare out of your head. 

She was your best friend Veronica from high school. You cut ties with everyone after you joined the hunting life. Which meant you never talked to her in those few years, since senior year. You were 21 now but yet all your memories came rushing back at the sight of her freckled face. Clear as day. She never understood why you left and she sent you text after text when you disappeared one night. About a week after your mom was killed by a demon. Of course Veronica didn't know that. 

When you saw the things that went bump in the night you never wanted Veronica to go through that. So you left and learned how to hunt alone until you joined up with the Winchesters a year back. They took you in with almost welcomed arms and taught you what you didn't know as well as refine your fighting skills. You weren't the emotional type and you cut of the remaining emotions you had left when you became a hunter. Now however, you were on your knees in mud and blood. In the middle of an old barn, somewhere south in Kansas. 

You felt a heavy hand on your shoulder but you kept staring in front of you. You got up suddenly, locking all emotion away and walked out of the barn into the Impala. You glanced out the window and saw Dean and Sam exchange one of their famous looks of concern. 

~~~~~~  
The drive to the bunker was silent. Dean kept his eyes on the road, Sam looked out the window, and you sat their with your jaw clenched with your nails of your right hand digging into your left. When Dean parked the car in front of the bunker you quickly got out and ran the other direction. 

"Son of a b-" you heard Dean yell behind you. If you weren't so devastated about your friends death you would have laughed at Deans reaction. 

You kept running as fast as you could with the thought of Dean running after you in the back of your mind. You went to jump over a fallen tree when your foot got caught. Right as you were about to face plant into the ground, strong hands grabbed you and held you in a tight embrace. You would never get over the fact of how fast Dean and Sam were. 

Dean dropped you both down to the floor as you buried your head against his chest. You sat their crying and hyperventilating for a good 30 minutes before your sobs were reduced to sniffling and little gasps of breath. 

"You will get through this (y/n)", he rubbed your back as he whispered to you. "Your the strongest person I know and if you have a hard time you'll always have me and Sammy", Dean spoke into your hair. You thanked Cas that he held you so close to him keeping you grounded, because otherwise you were sure nothing would keep you from floating away. 

Dean evidentially let go and things went downhill from there.   
~~~~~~~~

It was three weeks from Veronica's death and you still had a tightness in your voice as well as your untamable anger. Soon, Sam and Dean decided not to take you on hunts because of how reckless and angry you when you were on a case. The conversation didn't go over well. 

*Flashback*

You walked into the bunkers library with your duffle bag stuffed with clothes and some of your favorite weapons when you stopped short. You were met with both Winchesters crossing their arms, blocking your way to leave the bunker. 

"What are you two little girls up to? Com'mon you gotta move we have a hunt to go on", you tried to walk past Sam but he moved in front of you. "Sammy, cutie this isn't a fun game get out of my way", you basically growled the last part as you tried to get past him again. Only to have him side step in your way like the first time. 

"I'm sorry (y/n), but Dean and I think that it would be best if you sit this one out", Sam met your glare with one of sympathy in his hazel eyes. 

"You agree with this too?", you turned to Dean were he looked down almost instantly and shuffled on his feet thinking. 

"(Y/n)-" 

"You got to be fucking kidding me!" You threw your bag to the floor. "Fine" you screamed and ran to your room to slam the door shut. 

Your actions were a little childish.... Well maybe a lot, but you couldn't give a rats ass at the moment. You flung yourself on the bed but you couldn't lay still. You felt so angry you wanted to punch something or throw something. Instead of breaking anything in your room, ooor the bunker for that matter, you went to the gym area in the bunker after the boys left. In which you spent the rest of the night in.   
End of flash back 

You lay there on your bed spread out like a starfish. The boys have been gone for about a week. You were restless and had nothing to do. So you spent most of your time drunk off your ass. The boys should have been back by now. It was supposed to be a witch hunt. This should have be a hit and run at most! To make things ten times worse the boys called a couple days ago. Telling you they would lose phone service and that they would call you when they got back in town. 

You rolled your eyes, rolling off your bed to wonder around the bunker in one of Deans oversized sweaters and your underwear. You grabbed some whiskey from the kitchen and twirled your way to your room. You began chugging the alcohol when an idea struck you. The boys aren't here! You started to run down the bunker halls but you slid in the fluffy socks you wore. You fell, hitting the corner of hallway, and spilling your whiskey. You laughed and crawled to your feet. 

A few stumbles and spills of the whiskey you still clutched in your hand you found yourself in Deans room. You set the bottle down splashing alcohol on the desk near the bed. You belly flopped on the neatly made bed. You crawled up to the middle of the bed and giggled. Dean was going to be so mad. Good thing, you thought, that he was so cute when he was mad. 

You sighed and shoved your head under his pillow. You've been pinning for the older Winchester since you met him. You knew you had a huge age difference between you and he would probably never see you as anything other than a sister. A girl could dream tho. Which happened to be true, you constantly dreamed of Dean. You would- 

What were you doing! Your friend just died and you where thinking about a boy. You felt disgusted with yourself. You didn't even realize that you were crying until you felt the bed sheets under your face wet. How pathetic! You started hitting the pillow you were just under again and again screaming on the top of your lungs. 

"Why did you have to die!" You screamed so loud you didn't even hear the bunkers door open. 

*Deans POV*

Sammy had just open the bunker door and called your name. He was going to call you before they got back but they figured you were probably sleeping. It being the middle of the night and you were constantly sleeping these days anyway. 

He was in the middle of putting his bags on the library table when he heard you scream. He took out his gun looking back at Sam who've done the same. They walked quietly towards the hallway the scream came from. They both looked at the floor which was splashed with liquid. The smell however told him (y/n) had gotten into the liquor again. 

Dean was surprised to be standing in front of his door and see (y/n) holding a pillow over her head as tight as she could. He looked at Sam and they both put their guns away. 

"I got this Sam", Dean whispered and walked into the room closing the door behind him. 

*You POV*

You heard Dean talk to his brother and shut the door. You were holding the pillow on your face making it somewhat harder for you to breath. You felt a dip in the bed and a hand on one of your arms. 

"What are you doing (y/n)?"

"Ima trwin to sofocate measeff", you words were muffled from the pillow. 

"(Y/n)", Dean took the pillow from your arms and stared at your face. Your face was red and your eyes slightly puffy. Dean smiled at you, but to your surprise he didn't say anything. He simple picked you up and pulled the blankets on his bed and set you down covering you. 

He began taking his shoes off and when he took off his flannel he laid down next to you. He brought you close to him and kissed your temple. 

"(Y/n) it will get easier I promise. I know your hurting and I may not be as good at comforting people like Sam...", he paused and looked into your eyes. "You can always talk to me". 

Dean whipped a tear from your cheek and you held your breath. He was so close to you. You stared into his beautiful green eyes then down to his pouty lips. Dean pulled back and sighed. 

"We both need some sleep", Dean looked down and you took that as a cue to leave. You sat up but Dean pulled you back down. "Your sleeping with me tonight" he said it as a statement not as a request. 

"Dean?" 

"Yeah sweetheart"

You didn't know what to say and the tightness in your chest came back. You stiffened in his arms. You bit your lip trying to hold back tears. Dean tightened his arms around you. 

"Th-....tha", you tried to get out a thank you but you couldn't without tears spilling out your eyes. "Dean what is the similarity between pie and Cas?" 

"What?" Dean laughed fanning his breath on the back of your neck. 

"You want to devour both", you burst into a fit of giggles. Dean sat straight up and rolled you over to look at him. Horror evident in his eyes. That only made it funner and you laughed until you where gasping for breath. 

"As untrue as that is I'm glade to see you smile baby girl". 

"I've read that Destiel stuff Dean when you were gone. I could totally see it now! You both would be so cute together." Deans face dropped and he swallowed thickly. It didn't last long and you saw the gears in Deans head turning. 

Then you were attacked Dean started tickling you   
~~~~~~~~~~

When you woke up in the morning expecting Dean to be laying next to you but when your hand stretch out there was only cold bed sheets. 

You rolled out of bed with a horrible headache and had to cover your eyes from the light of the bunker. You made your way to the bathroom where you found a note, Advil, and a glass of water. 

~Hey (y/n), me and Sammy got a lead on a hunt not too far from here. I didn't want to wake you up because your probably extremely hung over. So I got you medicine and a glass of water.   
P.s. Don't try looking for the alcohol Sam hid it last night. ~

You let your head fall and it hit one of the walls in the bathroom. 

"Fuck" you pulled away rubbing your forehead. 

If they were going to take the alcohol from you maybe you should bring yourself to the alcohol...

**Author's Note:**

> I've recently lost a friend and after all the crying, alcohol, and anger... I decided to write to get out my frustration. I wish I did have the Winchesters to comfort me. Wouldn't we all.


End file.
